Last month I shared that an author I was reading said that the non-expression of emotions is a hallmark of the “cancer personality.” Several people cautioned me that labeling a cancer personality would make people feel guilty for “causing” their cancer. Even if non-expression of feelings turns out to be one of the factors in the development of cancer, I don’t believe any of us are guilty of causing our cancers.
I wish we could examine all factors that might have contributed to the growth of cancer without feeling guilty. If my repressed emotions have had a part in causing my cancer, I don’t think I am any more responsible for that than if the food I was fed as a child has contributed to my cancer. I have always done the best I could with what I know.
I hope I don’t resist any new information because it may mean I have done something “wrong” in the past. When we found out DDT might promote cancer, we were able to use that information to quit using DDT. We didn’t feel guilty because we had used it unknowingly. I hope we can approach potential emotional issues in the same way. I want to use new information to make changes that can help me be healthier now, rather than get stuck feeling guilty about what I didn’t know in the past.
I could also feel guilty about not eating the perfect diet now. Since I have attended many Cancer-Fighting Kitchen workshops, I have enough information to eat the perfect anti-cancer diet. But there are other factors in my life. I’m busy, sometimes tired, and maybe even lazy. I’m looking forward to being motivated, yet again, by hearing Lise and Laura in Macon, GA, on May 30th, and in Seattle, WA, on July 12th. I know I will add some new tools to my cancer-fighting toolbox; I will feel a renewed level of motivation to use the tools I have; and I won’t feel guilty that I didn’t use them yesterday.
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In the Spirit of Healing,
Jan Adrian, MSW
Founder and Executive Director
www.healingjourneys.org
P.S. If you are interested in learning more about what Jan is referring to above, you can read what she wrote last month: Is there a Cancer Personality?
I have been thinking about your comment about guilt/blame. It’s an important issue, Jan. In my own Cancer Journey, I feel it is important for me to take responsibility for my health and healing. Many people confuse responsibility with blame. When I am responsible, I have the control and power to make changes necessary. Responsibility empowers me. It is not my physician’s responsibility to heal me. He/she is my partner, but I ultimately will choose the protocols and actions that resonate with my highest intelligence. Like you, I will not allow guilt or blame to enter my psyche…not good for the immune system or the healing process. Thanks for the opportunity to share my thoughts.
Thank you for this response which I want to take in, remember and share. I was one of the people who left a telephone message. I get it and now it seems so clear.
Thank you,
Nancy Olsen
Hello Jan,
You Look Great in the photo! So bright eyed.
Thank-you for the positive messages about guilt and how we all do our best with what knowledge we have mixd with our life situations. Going forward toward our personal and community goals is so important. Yes, we are the ones who make the choice. Beyond doctors and other advisors.
I shared a “Cancer Fighting Kitchen” event with you in Seattle years ago and encourage everyone to attend! It has been a great part of helping my husband and several friends turn their cancer scenarios around. If I can return to hear Lize and Laura I will. The wisdom they carry is so valuable. So much is being discovered every day and they are able to share with us all.
Thank-you for bringing this to our lives.
Love to you,
June Getford
Dear Jan, I’m in total agreement with this latest post, and indeed with everything you write. ‘Tis indeed far better to celebrate each step toward a healthier way to live (and really live, thereby) than to waste living by allowing negative , self-abusive feelings to creep in and spoil the cooking and everything!
Apologies–I’m very behind with my e-mail, having been without a working computer for nearly two months. It was a vacation of sorts though! You are in my always-positive- thoughts for your highest good.
Dear Jan,
Thanks for the good words on no guilt. I think shame and guilt are among the most toxic emotions we suffer, and working to transcend or relax them is good cancer prevention.
Love, Robert
the awareness piece is always awesome to help us heal and grow.. but the more important part is living our best lives in the NOW with all the tools we have. Doddling on the “whys” is truly a waste of precious energy that could be focused on being joyfilled and alive in the present.. for that is indeed all we have!
I really appreciate the clarity–to me, it’s about awareness and conscious choice. I also appreciate what Ester spoke about…the responsibility vs. blame. Reading this article this morning is so timely and much needed.
Thank you! Terri
May 30, at 3:20pm
Everyone suffers from some guilt and blame, yet everyone does not become a cancer patient. Thank you for your wonderful and timely article. I agree, agree, agree with you and thank you, thank you, thank you.
Guilt and blame can be healed at the spiritual level through a process of self forgiveness same as the process it can take to forgive others.
Roberta