If you have received an email from me in the last year, you know that part of my “signature” says, “Bless the Present, Trust Yourself, Expect the Best.” This is not what I was taught growing up, which is why I need the constant reminder. I could write a book about each one of those three statements, but today I am writing just about the first one — Bless the Present.
How can I possibly “bless the present” when I’m presented with a cancer diagnosis, or a recurrence, or a marriage falling apart, or even simple things like my cat throwing up on my white carpet, or my hot water heater not working? It comes much more naturally to be upset, angry, and want things to be different.
But the fact is, life is what it is. My anger and upset isn’t going to change anything. I still have to clean up the cat vomit on my rug, or get my hot water heater repaired, or learn to live with a diagnosis I didn’t choose, or learn to accept that every relationship ends sometime. We all have something in our lives we would rather not have.
Since I am going to live with it no matter how I feel, I might as well choose to feel grateful. I can’t choose all of the events that happen in my life, but I can choose how I respond to them. The person who is most affected by my response is me so I might as well give myself some peace of mind.
As we move into a new year, it is so tempting to make at least a few “resolutions,” to put pressure on ourselves to become better, thinner, more organized, more whatever we think will make others love us more. But the practice of “blessing the present” also applies to accepting who I am today. One of the things we rarely resolve to do is to accept ourselves as we are – to embrace that how we look, how we function, how often we exercise is really OK.
My theme song for this year is a song entitled No Complaints Whatsoever by Jan Garrett and JD Martin. Here’s one of the verses:
The high road is surprisingly easy
Forgiveness shows up without a fight
Through the ups & the downs I see beauty all around
‘Cause I’d rather be grateful than right
So I get to play with what I’m given
And find such unexpected harmonies
Weaving the light with the deep dark shadow
Till the music sets me freeee
You can hear the whole song here: whole song here
What a concept, to just be at peace with who and what we are and have right now! I wish you a very Happy New Year — free of resolutions, free of complaints, and filled with acceptance and peace.
In the spirit of healing,
Jan Adrian, MSW
Founder and Executive Director
P.S. Do you have a theme song for the year, or something that’s inspiring you or motivating you?
Leave a comment, or read comments left by others.
Jan, Thank you for including music. That was so cool. I have to get that album. Lynne
I love the song…”No Complaints Whatsoever”…uplifting and a song you can sing to yourself throughout the day…love it! Thanks!
Thank you, thank you, thank you, dear Jan. You have influenced me so much over the years because of your (com)passion, wisdom and generosity with us all and I wish you peace and thanks. Your reflection in this newsletter is so very timely, personally and professionally that I feel that a miracle has occured. You have spoken to my soul and I am full of gratitude.
Please be well………..
I am singin at the top of my lungs! What a great “attitudinal adjustment song”. I intend to play it in my Loss and Grief class every Tuesday night. Thanks Jan!
Thanks for the reminder. I forget I have choices. Emotion flashes and I can still choose.
Full and fair disclosure–I don’t have cancer, I’m just doing what I can to help someone who does.
And a song–or at least the song’s refrain–that speaks to me a lot right at this time is by a group called The Mountain Goats.
The song is “This Year.”
The line I love:
“I’m going to make it through this year if it kills me.”
This song says it all. I have been amazed at how much easier all my cancer treatments were when I had this attitude. Love the song and will be downloading it to my ipod. Thank-you so much for reminding us all to stay positive.